Eclipse
If light and dark can coexist, then why is it so hard for us to live among each other? I watch in awe the way the sun makes way for the moon. There is no resistance. Just a simple ease in stepping aside to make room for another who requires the space. Such grace, a cosmic dance, a generosity, and I wonder if us humans with our pounding powerful hearts will be able to emulate that?
Today was a day of ceremony. As an astrologer friend of mine explains, 'a day to allow the things we desire to leave behind to drift into the darkness, and as the light returns, beckon to life fresh things we desire to welcome'. For me, I've spent the past few years 'half' leaving my partnership of over 2 decades. There was the physical leaving, but the heart moves on more slowly as it ebbs back and forth between what is comfortable and what is unknown. One never imagines the places we'll go when separation happens. And yet, isn't that how all of life really is anyway. You just never know what lies ahead and releasing trying to define it or control it, I've learned, creates an ease to allow it to transform and just be. It's a powerful medicine to detach from trying to make something into what it is not, and instead, with childlike wonder, let it unfold and evolve.
So today, I intended a day of healing and release of the old story my kids dad and I shared. I sent my heart skyward to shake off whatever was left of the beautiful and loving, but old story of us. Like a small child i could feel myself clench and want to hold onto the kite strings as my heart took flight. And then I saw the sun, in it's grace, making room for that dark moon and i let go in the darkness. For moments there was eery stillness. Two traveling musicians played, 'here comes the sun' and I hummed a long,
“‘Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right’”
I knew in those moments that it really was okay to let go entirely.
"it's all right...."
Yes, as an Spiritual Anthroposophical woman once said to me, 'It appears you have freed both of you". I thought of the sheer brilliance of that statement. The willingness to open a space wider for the great gift of unlimited possibilities.
And then, the kismet from the universe. A text. From my former beloved. A picture showing him working at his high powered job while celebrating with my children the eclipse with the caption that read, 'Have we met? I'm currently doing three things at once'. I replied, 'Totally you!'. Then i sent him a picture, 'I'm making moon art on a musicians guitar with the locals and just emerged from ceremony'. To which he replied, 'Totally YOU!'
This simple exchange completed the ceremony. Suddenly I was standing in my own place, and he in his and we both were able to look over and recognize our separate paths with a sort of non chalantness and respect. We were able to free each other and 'live and let live'.
Kind of like, light and dark both existing.
