My Private Practice in Counseling
in on beautiful Whidbey Island in
Langley, Washington. I currently have a
few openings for private pay.
Healthy Sexuality
WHOLISTIC ‘HEALTHY’ SEXUALITY
What is it anyway? And why did we never learn it?
Well for one thing, we live in an incredibly repressive (Puritanical Roots) society combined with an immensely Yang energetic blueprint of war, aggression, force, laws, punishment, and rights and wrong. Where sexuality is a dirty term instead of a natural part of our beings. Sex education in this country is nothing but scare tactics (and remarkably unsuccessful in keeping pregnancy rates and STD rates low compared with other countries who do NOT embrace an abstinence, scare-tactic based model) like the Netherlands for instance. We never learned about intimacy, connection, consent, or exploring our own values around sexuality. Wholistic sexuality integrates this part of us back into our bodies
Some modalities I use:
Healing the Body through somatic awareness and practice.
Identifying protective parts and gently finding the wound to release it
Somatic awareness through mindfulness and body practices
Healthy communication, and expressing vulnerable needs with others
Vulnerability, Domination, and Surrender
Fear and reaching for soothing
Turning toward when we want to flee or avoid.
Sovereignty and Bonding
Sexuality as your birthright and life force
How shame, abuse, early messages, are stored in the body and block true intimacy with self and other.
Healing as a couple and healing individually through mindful connection and awareness
MY OWN JOURNEY
Yes, I am a therapist first. And, my story has nothing to do with yours. Except it does! I am human too. I don’t know about you, but for me, if someone has not lived through it, they don’t really every know what it’s like to feel completely broken from abuse or just never having their sensuality celebrated as a child but shamed. To feel they are lost in the realms of sexuality, to feel embarrassed to even touch their own body or speak what they want—to even know what they want! Or, to feel rejected over and over again, and that they are too needy, want to much intimacy, or cringe up and feel repulsed by intimacy and want nothing to do with it because it makes their skin crawl! Or perhaps you are considering opening up your relationship to polyamory, or that you just might be attracted to a different gender(s) all together! Or, you’ve had several kids and feel you will never love your body, or find your wild and free ways of your youth again. I have explored all these places in my journey—again, your journey will look different-but this history I share so you may trust that I know what it is like to feel hopeless, and I never thought I’d be where I am today; A completely embodied woman, full of overflowing love she can share discerningly with whomever she chooses, who celebrates a deeply fulfilling sexual life that is connected to heart, spirit, and body. I have struggled enough and come out the other side— to completely believe we can heal anything you feel blocked by, together and find a kind of intimacy that resonates with you!
HOW HEALING HAPPENS
We cannot just talk about it. We need to go into the body, where all memory is stored. You cannot convince the mind without the body being on board—it will capsize you mid sentence with wanting to avoid, flee, or freeze when love is offered. We must forge a bridge between these two with somatic attention and the messages that lie beneath. We must explore these and listen deeply until we understand where they come from, and then, like any great story, we must set forth to re-write our journey with a new nervous system, a new perspective, and a hell of a lot less projections from our past, in hand.
The goal is a new map in hand, and and a guide formed by the clearness of our hearts and who we truly are. In order to do this we much explore the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual past that lies in the unconscious and often ‘acts or reacts’ based on old beliefs, experiences, paradigms. So, we go in like curious children—listening, honoring, loving— these old ways and letting those parts know ‘the war is over’—we can trust now, we can be vulnerable now, we can reach out now, we can get our needs met now.
This is where the shifts really happen within the individual and between lovers. Are you willing to be responsible for your own unconscious and stay beside the one you love as they do their own work too? With that, anything can be healed and shifted. I promise.