Sovereign

Tonight I lay in shadow

I do not want to be found

I do not need your eyes to see me,

To exist

I bury myself beneath the pines,

The needles creating camouflage,

So that I will not be recognized 

As something you can gather,

Something you can take

For your collections on the shelf.

I dart into the dark alley

Between the lit stars 

Where you will not find me,

And ask me to walk 

Arms linked, 

As half of something, 

when I am already whole.

I am my own song

And though my words may find you

Move you, draw you near,

They are not meant for you to sing.

I am orbiting something

Greater than you can offer,

I refuse to return your smile, your beckon,

Until I have followed the spiral 

The coiling to the center.

This is my watery night. 

The condensation of a lifetime of tears,

Running down the rocks to pool,

As I drink and bathe myself sovereign.

I have but one dream.

You are not it, as I am not yours.

Instead, Dream with me.

Until we both lay 

in full moonlight,

The protective cloak falling away.

If the waiting has not rendered you impatient,

If you tell me with certainty

You do not need me, To heal you.

If you stand in compassion

As I unveil all my scars,

With arms open but not clutching,

Then I will greet you,

Lips whispering gratitude,

Running through the shadowy night

Hands interlaced,

To greet the sunrise together.

-Artemis Mandala